No dishwasher or dishdryer for over a month!!

So, your assisted living company is on the brink of bankruptcy. What do you do?! That's right- pay attention "Undercover Boss"! You pay pennies to your workers, cut back on services to residents that are paying AT LEAST $5,800 per month by, for example, not helping with any aspect of internal or external moves, and the final coup de grace, keep repairing a commercial dishwasher/dryer that is toast and then, when it's deader than a doornail.....tell the staff on upper floors that they must carry every dish for 50 residents downstairs to main floor dishwasher three times a day and then bring all the clean dishes back! One of many consequences (bad backs, temperaments aside)- when an aide or resident rings for help, they wait 15-20 minutes until the "dish runner" can get back.

Booze Runner

Screw those soft and funny photos on the brochures and websites of assisted living facilities! You think life changes because you get sick, old, or become incapacitated in some way? Think again. Life marches on. Either you adjust or lose your way. When my mother-in-law first moved into assisted living, it was after the death of her husband of 65 years. First thing on the agenda? She met a new man and began a semi-romantic affair for two years until he died. (another story). One day I offered while she was at dinner with a table of friends to pick up her wine (Gallo Chablis please) and bourbon and next thing you know, I'm making a list for everyone else! Thus, my job for sometime to come as the booze runner for assisted living residents. (Skip that skimpy mini-glass of wine thank you very much!). Vermouth, whiskey, bourbon, gin, wine, beer....you name it....I bootlegged it into each of them in large UPS brown boxes. The ABC store owner started giving me very funny looks to which I replied, "Picking up a few things for friends. (:" Ah....the gratitude as I made my rounds. Filled my heart with joy!

The Admiral's Wife Died

Yesterday. He is 97. She was 96. True Love. She was comatose from Alzheimer disease the last few years. Each day, dedicated staff moved her from bed to her extended wheelchair to the couch to rest in the crook of his arm. Each day, being the admiral he is....he rises to take a shower, which consists of turning the water on and then off; having his coffee, which consists of holding an empty cup because he's too frail for it to be filled with hot coffee, and reading his newspaper (upside down). Then she rests in the crook of his arm for the day while he protects her and sings her praises to anyone who cares to listen. "This is my beautiful wife. She's a wonderful woman and mother. She's the love of my life." Now she has moved on and he is confused and lost. Will he be alive for much longer? Only the path of true love knows......

Assisted Living: Melting Pot in a Fishbowl

Imagine roughly 37 nationalities, 200 plus people mostly over the age of 70, a cat with cancer, an energetic large dog in the prime of his life, and a company in a state of disarray, and what do you have? Assisted living in a metropolitan area of the USA circa 2010. For over 10 years now (most of that while working "outside the home") I have been a caregiver for the very young, the middle aged, and the old. This blog will share my stories.....I hope with humor, compassion, and understanding for what all of us eventually face....being a caregiver or being cared for. And dying.....that momentous transition from this life to whatever you believe comes next. Join me as I recreate some of the most memorable moments of these years. They could be yours, too.