Loving a Friend with Alzheimer's

For Jude:

I love, you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am,
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good,
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch
Without a word
Without a sign
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.


Roy Croft

Visitor from Beyond?

My sister-in-law, living in the final stages of Alzheimer's disease, recently lost her mother, who lived with her in the same assisted-living facility. Since her mother's death, she has not been herself...very tired all day and wanting only to sleep. Her caregiver feels her mother is visiting her based on her own experience. (Her mother visited her for years after her unexpected death.) Others have shared their stories with me of being visited by long-time spouses, siblings, parents, or grandparents for sometime after the person's death. To help my sister-in-law, I did a moon phase reading using my native american animal cards. This reading can help balance your inner spirituality. Interestingly, my sister-in-law's reading was so true to her....but the part that struck us most was her central card, the hawk, and the message that she needs to draw on inner courage of which she is not yet aware. As her mother was incredibly tough, strong, and courageous to the point to alienating those around her, it seems to fit that she may be visiting her daughter and reaching out to help her gain the courage she needs to endure the hardships of this debilitating disease. We will see today if she is getting some rest now.....

Spring has Sprung-Love Abounds in Alzheimer Ward

What do you have when you put 1 good looking 80 yr old man with Alzheimers on a floor with 40 other Alzheimer patients, only 3 of whom are men? Cat fights! Harry sits down to eat at a table for four and finds himself crowded in by 6-8 women trying to eat with him. Does he mind? Not one little bit. As ardor dies down and fans fade away, Mary persists. They hold hands like young lovers and soon are inseparable. While memory fades, love persists. Love is more powerful than Alzheimer's. Even when Mary's husband, Jim, and Harry's wife, Elizabeth, come to visit, they are miffed yet they understand. It's a new life now for their spouses. It hurts and it's time to say goodbye.